Good Friends in Time

A story of how the Dioceses of Delaware and Argyll & The Isles are building a relationship

by Jen Mason, Communion Editor

Starting in the 1950s, the Diocese of Delaware had a series of active, rewarding companion relationships with three African and three Caribbean dioceses. These connections culminated with the extra­ordinary experience of being twinned with the Diocese of Pretoria, South Africa, through the demise of apartheid and the historic elections and inspiring reconciliation process that followed in its wake. Parishes were successfully joined, diocesan representatives eagerly exchanged, and mission trips readily organized, as sharing such an intense experience gave the dioceses something intimate and tangible with which to form their bond and build their connection. The people even chose to extend their relationship to correspond to the tenure of the Delaware’s bishop, Cabell Tennis, who helped to forge it.

So when it came time to choose a new companion diocese, Delaware intentionally decided to move out of what had become a very comfortable zone. Parishes expressed a particular interest in forming a relationship with a diocese that was relatively easily reached, so that parishioners could travel back and forth with a virtually unlimited opportunity for exchange. Scotland’s Argyll & The Isles met that criteria and was enthusiastically pursued after Bishops Wayne Wright and Douglas Cameron struck up a friendship at the 1998 Lambeth Conference. The bishops hoped that their dioceses would, in turn, find the same basis for an enduring connection.

And while there were some wonderful opportunities for exchange (such as an early mission trip by a group of Delaware clergy and laity to Scotland and a few parishes that formed warm, active companion relationships with others) it became apparent that having this kind of friendship was different for the Delawareans—and maybe a little difficult to get their minds and hearts around. As Sister Barbara Jean Brown, who served on Delaware’s companion diocesan committee put it, “People find it easy to respond to others’ needs—like helping them recover from a natural disaster or helping them build homes; but we don’t always know how to just be friends and enjoy each other. You can’t just say, ‘Oh, wow! Let’s go be friends!’ and expect that people are going to know what to do with that.”

What’s interesting is that, with time, the people of Delaware and Scotland are beginning to figure that out. And beyond the enduring friendship of the bishops, which is still realized as Bishop Cameron and his wife come to lead the annual retreat of Delaware’s clergy spouses each year, the light that’s leading the way to each others’ hearts is music.

It started with a few Delaware parishes supporting Argyll’s music ministries by sharing hymnals and choir robes. Then George and Libby Bayley, a couple of church musicians from St. Peter’s Church in Lewes, Delaware, who were particularly committed to finding a way to kindle a connection between the two dioceses, began getting busy. George twice exchanged organ benches with Alastair Chisolm, Director of Music at Cathedral of the Isles. And when Bishop Martin Shaw, Bishop Cameron’s successor, came over and met with the companion relations committee, the Bayleys asked what Delawareans could do to further the relationship. Bishop Shaw replied, “Bring your choir, and go to the more remote parts of the diocese.” They organized a choir mission trip, taking 36 musicians and friends from Lewes and beyond for a tour of Argyll & The Isles in the summer of 2007. (Click here to read that story.) They also commissioned Bishop Shaw to write an anthem for a 300th anniversary celebration in their parish and to come and participate in the festivities by performing a vocal concert in the sea-side town.

The folks who went on the Bayley’s trip returned with ebullience for the people of Argyll & The Isles and the value of the diocesan connection. Since then several other parishes and individuals on both sides of the Atlantic have been making plans to visit and to gain invaluable insights into our common life as Christians and Anglicans. Bishop Shaw and his wife Elspeth have also extended an invitation to Bishop Wright and his wife Holly to join them in Scotland before the Lambeth Conference this summer, repeatedly affirming their support for their American friends during this challenging time in the Anglican Communion.

In the end, when the traditional duration for the companion relationship came and went, somehow the Spirit was wise enough not to remind the people of the two dioceses that it was time to move on. God may still have a few things for them to learn and to gain from each other.

The Diocese of Argyll and the Isles covers dozens of small islands off the western coast of the Scottish Highlands. Ferries provide the link between islands and the Scottish mainland.

Website of the Diocese of Argyll & The Isles.

Delaware choir members toured Argyll & The Isles in June, 2007.